Deciding to propose is a big decision that leads to a big moment. One you should approach with care and preparation, even if you tend to be the spontaneous sort. We promise, a little planning will go a long way.

A proposal doesn’t have to be perfect to be successful; it just has to be personal, thoughtful and done with love. 

We like to think that the proposal reflects both the couple and the life they will share together. A marriage is made up of two and right from the start each partner must feel valued. So, for example, rather than choosing a proposal setting that your intended loves but you don’t really like, choose a setting that means something to both of you. Your partner will be touched that you remembered this special place and care about it as much as they do.

Look through our ultimate proposal checklist, take what works for you and your partner, and get planning!

Beforehand

❑ Make sure marriage is on the table

Not to make you nervous, but before you get down on one knee check in with yourself that marriage is the next, right step for you both. We’re ready to take those surprise proposal photos and a little shock on your beloved’s face is perfect. But not complete shock.

If you and your partner have never discussed marriage and you’re not entirely sure how they feel about it, have a chat. It doesn’t have to be awkward bringing it up, but can come up while watching a rom-com, going to a friend’s wedding, or discussing life goals. It’s as simple as saying, “Hey, what do you think of marriage? Is that something you see in your future?” Marriage is all about communication and getting to know your partner. Start now!

❑ Talk to your partner’s parents

Or best friend, or older sibling, or whoever has their best interests at heart. You’re not so much asking permission, but acknowledging their importance in your partner’s life and that marriage is really more than two people; it takes the proverbial “village” sometimes! 

At our wedding we passed our rings around for everyone to touch and bless, acknowledging how each of them would all be a part of the years to come and how we, as a couple, would need their support. Talking to your partner’s family and friends before proposing recognizes this fact.

This idea may not speak to every couple, but if it does, be sure to check this box off!

❑ Buy the ring...or at least have a plan

One benefit of having talked to your partner about marriage before proposing is that you might have an idea of their preference when it comes to the engagement ring. Yes. No. A tall diamond. No diamonds! Perhaps your partner doesn’t want a new ring but a family heirloom, a ring that a family member is holding on to just for them. Do some research, and again, make it personal. 

Shopping for something so significant and expensive as a ring is already stressful enough. It’s great to have a little insight into what your intended wants before walking into the shop. But if you have absolutely no idea, don’t worry! You could enlist the help of a family member or best friend to help you choose. Or, as is becoming more common, you can get the ring after the proposal. That’s right, you don’t need a ring to propose! If you know your partner would love to be involved in choosing it, then make buying the ring together part of the after proposal celebrations.

❑ Plan what you want to say...if anything!

This is really going to depend on each person and each plan. Some of us like to know exactly what we’re going to say. Others of us do best when we speak from the heart in the moment. And even some of us, won’t say a word but rely on other means.

There is no right or wrong way. Again, this is the beauty of proposing! When my husband proposed, it was in chocolate. Yes, chocolate! After a decadent meal at one of our favorite San Francisco restaurants, a plate was delivered to the table with a ring box in the center and the words, “Will you marry me?” written in chocolate around it. How could I say no to chocolate?

Think about what’s important to you and to your partner. If there are words you need to say, say them. If there is a phrase he or she longs to hear, use it. If no words are needed, don’t feel pressured to say anything. Just have an idea of what tactic you’ll take before the day arrives.

❑ Choose the time and place

First, let’s be clear. A proposal can happen anywhere. Romance springs up at the most unexpected moments and places. The only necessary ingredients: you, your partner, and love. But if you’re a planner and determined to have a special setting at just the right moment, this will be one of your favorite boxes to check off. 

Start with a brainstorm of your favorite places. Take into consideration how soon you want to propose and if you want it to be local or abroad. Other considerations are whether you want other people present. If you and your partner have a child, children, or fur baby, you might want them there.

Now go a little deeper. What do you and your partner love to do? Camping? Scuba diving? Quiet nights in? Time with family? And what are your favorite times of year? Any particular holidays or events? Build your proposal time and place around what will mean the most to both of you. Really, the sky’s the limit, from a Valentine’s carriage ride to a hike up to a Bali temple to the coziness of your own home with family and friends waiting to help you celebrate.

❑ Hire your photographer

Once you know when and where you’re going to pop the question, it’s time to book your local photographer and get them on board with the plan. Our professional photographers will be the accomplice you need to capture all the expressions, tears (of joy!), what the light looked like, every detail...because you’ll both be too wrapped up in the moment to remember. And you’ll definitely want to remember, again and again, and share it with everyone. And then those once-in-a-lifetime photos can be a great way to announce your engagement...through mailed announcements and on social media. Regardless, you’ll be looking at them for years to come.

❑ Plan a celebration afterwards

Trust us, you’re going to want to celebrate! Whether that’s going for a romantic dinner afterwards or calling all your friends and family on speakerphone, whether it’s popping a bottle of champagne waiting in the fridge or a box of cupcakes waiting in the car trunk. Have a little something planned for afterwards.

❑ Don’t spoil the surprise!

Now this may be the most challenging part, especially if you’ve planned something extravagant that involves accomplices. There’s not much to say here, except that after all that work, don’t spoil the surprise! 

The big day

If you’ve done even a little planning and thought beforehand, the day you actually propose should go without a hitch. It becomes less about logistics and more about your state of mind!

❑ Take your time

This isn’t something you want to rush. Remember to breathe and stay in the moment. If you take your time and are present, you’ll be sure to bring the ring (if you have one), enjoy all the specialness you worked so hard to set up beforehand, and will be ready when the moment arrives.

❑ Pop the question! 

As we’ve already discussed, there is no right or wrong way to do this. There is only what is right for the both of you and right for that moment. You may have rehearsed it a hundred times, or you may let the moment lead you. You may get down on one knee (it doesn’t matter which) or you may have a different technique.

Do it when it feels right, and again, take your time. Don’t feel like you have to rush through it. This is your moment too. Deep breaths, be in the moment, look into your beloved’s eyes and enjoy it!

❑ Give your partner time to respond

I can tell you that decadent meal flipped in my stomach when my husband proposed, which caused me to pause but not because I was going to say no! There’s a good chance that even if this is something your partner has been dreaming of, it will surprise them or overwhelm them with emotion. Give them a moment to catch their breath. Don’t keep talking, but be there listening, as you intend to do throughout your life together.

A disclaimer, because we care: If you don’t get the answer you wanted, don’t lose heart, get angry or overcome with disappointment. Being in love is not always the same as being ready for marriage. There are lots of considerations: family, school, living arrangements, jobs. A “no” may simply mean there needs to be more discussion and planning, and proverbial wedding bells are still in the future.

Afterwards

If you’ve done all the proposal planning on your own, you’re going to love what comes afterwards: planning with your partner! Hopefully you’ve got a great proposal story to share and now you and your partner can put your heads together to plan everything that comes next. Here are just a few things to put on your list:

❑ Call close family and friends

❑ Send engagement announcements using pics from your proposal photoshoot

❑ Share your favorite pics on social media with your larger circle of friends and family

And as you start planning, know that we’re here for you to capture every moment, from proposal to honeymoon! Even if you’re not sure when each event is happening, you and your partner can buy one (or more) of our Flex Packages and then schedule the photoshoot whenever you’re ready! 

We can’t wait to see your love in front of our lens this year!